Time sure flies...

Wasn't it just yesterday that I was oh so excitedly piecing together a nursery fit for a princess? I was carefully folding itty-bitty clothes in various shades of pink? Placing tiny diapers and fresh boxes of wipes in a strategic place so they would be easily accessible? Fighting with a crib sheet trying to get it on the mattress then down into the crib? All while feeling big kicks and flips from my huge stomach??

No, it wasn't yesterday, it was 6 years ago this very day!! I can't hardly believe it! We had just moved into a small house in the center of town and were anxiously preparing for  "The Divine Miss E" to make her appearance. I was scheduled to be induced the next morning and everyone was there and ready! (Most of all me! 41 weeks is one week too long to be prego!)

I was nervous, scared and excited all at the same time. If I had only known what the next 6 years would hold for us....

Yep, I'm failing at this...

I just realized that it has been almost a year since I have blogged. I am on the computer everyday, there is no reason why I couldn't blog more. Not, that you all care about the mundane details of my boring life...

Since my last post our lives have changed dramatically. In a nutshell...

Daniel finished Paramedic school with highest honors and shortly after was hired on at his dream job as part time. Which means he works when they need him. That often meant shifts that could last 24-72 hours. We rarely saw him but we made it work. At the beginning of the year he was promoted to full time and now has a somewhat normal schedule so we see him more.

Eliana is a kindergartener now and loving every minute of it. Her teacher says she is a joy to have in her class and that she is a very bright girl who is constantly bettering herself and her school work.

Gabe turned 4 in December and is finally becoming more independent. I have filled out the paperwork to send him to pre-k in the fall, we are just waiting to here whether or not he gets a spot. I am assured by the teachers that he will be accepted. I hope the school district agrees. Though, I don't think I am ready for both of my kids to be in school.

There's not much to say about me. I spend my days either helping at the school or doing housework with my little guy. I love being able to devote my time to my children. I always wanted that when I was growing up, I am so glad I can do that for my kids.

Well, that's the jist of the last year. Exciting huh?!

Total Blog Fail!

I was really trying to blog more but alas. life is busy and time has flown by.

What is new???... Daniel FINALY finished his field internship. After over 500 hours of working for absolutely no pay plus working full time to pay the bills, I finally have my husband back!

One more month until he graduates!! And... he is graduating with HONORS! I am so proud of him! He was even invited to become a member of their honor society for non-traditional students. Words can't express how excited I am to be ending this page of our lives and start new with his degree.

I'm not sure what I will do when I have my husband back.

My baby girl just turned 5! It is so hard to believe that is has been 5 years already. Where did time go? I can't believe that I have been a parent for 5 years. I guess since we have all survived this long I must be doing something right. Right? I am amazed at how she is growing into such a beautiful, smart and funny young lady.

I'm not sure what I'm going to do with the kids once school is out for the summer. I think the only way I am going to survive is with lots of play dates and lots of structured activities. I'm feeling overwhelmed just thinking about it.

Daniel has been able to spend more time at home this month which has been wonderful but, it won't last. After this week it is back to normal. Back to being alone most of the time.

We are trying to get a new place to live. Our friend is going to move in with us. We can't afford a bigger place on our own and he needs a place to live so I guess it works out. It will be hard to go back to having a roommate again but we are literally bursting at the seams in this tiny apartment. My kids need more space. If it weren't for them I wouldn't even think about moving before Daniel is done with school. I just feel like the walls are closing in on me here.

Gabe is sick. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. We have actually had a really easy winter as far as illness goes. It was only a matter of time. Now, I am just playing the waiting game, unsure if it is bad enough to take him to the doctor or if she is just going to tell me to keep doing what I am doing. I don't want to be the mom who rushes her kids to the doctor for every sniffle but I also don't want to be the mom who ignores it. *sigh*

There are days

There are somedays that I just don't know how I am going to make it until May. Today is one of those days.

We had a wonderful weekend. Daniel was off both Saturday and Sunday and we spent the whole time with family and friends. It felt good to do things as a family for a while.

Today is a totally different story though. I thought it might be a good day because school was cancelled due to bad weather and the kids and I got to sleep in a little. But since we got out of bed they haven't listened to a word I have said and have done nothing that I have asked them to do. So, as a result of this, their room is a disaster still, there is a whole bag of tortilla chips crushed into the carpet on my bed room floor and everything I have tried to do has been undone.

I don't understand why they think they don't have to listen to me when daddy is gone. Why they have to act out and fight with each other every waking minute. I am at my wits end.

All I want to do is curl up in bed a cry.

Sometimes it gets to me...

I'm trying so hard to be patient and cheerful when it comes to my husband being gone so much but there are times when it just gets to me.

It used to be that I loved the time after the kids went to bed. The house would be quiet and I could have a little time for myself. Now, I am beginning to dread it. I know that I have plenty to do but without the kids to distract me I have time to think about being alone.

The worse time is when he calls to say goodnight. It is usually a while before I am ready to go to bed myself, he wants to be able to get some rest in case they get a call in the middle of the night. But, when we say goodnight and hang up the phone all I can do it think about how he is going to bed somewhere without me. We both have to sleep alone.

I keep telling myself it is only a few more months but May still seems so far away. The days keep getting longer and the nights are colder. Having him home for a few hours at a time almost makes it worse. It's like letting me taste a little bit of the frosting but keeping the cake just out of my reach.

Surprisingly I have posted twice in a week. That is a new record for me. Now, it is time for me to try to sleep. I will head to my cold bed now. Good night moon...

The beginning of the end

It has been a year since Daniel started paramedic school. That means we only have one semester to go! But, it is the hardest semester we will have to face.

He started his Field Internship (FI) last week. He has to have a total of 500 hours of FI before he can finish the program. That means 500 hours of working for an EMS service for free. He usually goes to the Butler County EMS station for a 24 hour shift (working for free) then goes straight to Life Team for a 12 hour shift. Having him gone for at least 36 hours at a time can be a little taxing but we will make it work. The kids and I miss him so much but it will be all worth it in May when he graduates.

Eliana is still doing really well in school. Her last progress report showed strong growth. She is becoming smarter every day and never ceases to amaze me. One year ago she couldn't even recite the alphabet. Now, she not only knows the alphabet she is spelling small words and can sound out bigger words. She gets tired of hearing how proud we are of her.

Then, there is Gabriel. My little Gabey Baby. What can I say about Gabe? This little boy never ceases to make me smile. When I get down he is right there with a hug and a kiss and an "I love you, Mommy!" Sure, he has a tendency to act like a 3 year old but for the most part he is just a sweet little boy who loves his mommy.

Don't get me wrong. Eliana can be sweet and loving but she can also have an attitude like a 14 year old. And is totally a daddys girl. So, when things don't go her way it is mommys fault and she wants daddy. *sigh* What am I going to do when she is a teenager? I certainly hope Gabe still loves his mommy when his big sister doesn't.