It used to be that I loved the time after the kids went to bed. The house would be quiet and I could have a little time for myself. Now, I am beginning to dread it. I know that I have plenty to do but without the kids to distract me I have time to think about being alone.
The worse time is when he calls to say goodnight. It is usually a while before I am ready to go to bed myself, he wants to be able to get some rest in case they get a call in the middle of the night. But, when we say goodnight and hang up the phone all I can do it think about how he is going to bed somewhere without me. We both have to sleep alone.
I keep telling myself it is only a few more months but May still seems so far away. The days keep getting longer and the nights are colder. Having him home for a few hours at a time almost makes it worse. It's like letting me taste a little bit of the frosting but keeping the cake just out of my reach.
Surprisingly I have posted twice in a week. That is a new record for me. Now, it is time for me to try to sleep. I will head to my cold bed now. Good night moon...
